Holding Pattern

5k last May

Today is Sunday and it has been a quiet weekend around here.  We will take quiet.  The nurse took Nate's labs on Friday and his numbers were stable.  Nate is feeling decent, just tired.  He is able to attend the kids games because they are outside and he does not need to interact with many people.  He wore a mask, snuck into church late and left early to avoid the crowds.

I have been more reflective these past days, maybe because life is quiet, well as quiet as our life can be.  People ask how we are doing, how I am doing?  We are thankful Nate is home, that he can be outside, that our family is together, that his counts are stable right now.  But honestly, this journey has taken a toll.  The above picture came up on my FB memories today and it makes me cry. We ran a 5k on this day last year.  Look how healthy Nate looks.  Both Nate and I wonder, when will he get his hair back? Will he look healthy again?  Nate will say, right now he feels old, much older than 37.

And this journey has taken its toll on me.  I am losing my hair, more than is normal.  Stress induced hair loss is a thing, who knew?  I love my husband, but I do not want to lose my hair in solidarity! (And if you have knowledge on how to regrow hair, send me a note.)  I also had to talk with my Doctor about finding a med to help me turn off my brain at night, so I can sleep.  And this past week I am so tired, I feel like I could nap all day.  I wonder if the adrenaline and stress of the past months is catching up with my body, exhaustion is setting in.  The wonderful(?) thing about kids is they force you to keep moving.

We have an appointment at NW on Tuesday and the nurse will continue to come a couple times/week to check Nate's blood counts.  So we continue to pray for quiet, healing weeks.  And that my hair stops falling out, ha!