Transplant

On Thursday evening, Nate left for Chicago.  Nate checked into Northwestern Hospital this morning.  He will receive 6 days of intense chemo and on April 13 his stem cells will be re-infused.  Then begins recovery time at the hospital until his blood counts are improved enough for him to recover at home.

That paragraph seems so cut and dry, but this whole situation is anything but that.  We are often experiencing blessings and pain simultaneously.  Our family had a long weekend at Boyne Mountain. We had a relaxing and fun time together.  The kids came down with coughs/colds so Northwestern put Nate on antibiotics as a precaution. Thankfully he did not get sick!

And there is pain.  My lament and anxiety have been building and tears were unstoppable last night as we said goodbye to Nate.  Yes, the reality is that people have stem cell transplants every day.  Nate is young and will come thru this fine.  It will not be easy, but he will survive.  But, we also have the reality that things may not be fine.  Nate had to give his advanced directives to Northwestern so they know his wishes.  The reality is that if something happens to Nate, I am 2.5 hours away.  There is no winning in this situation. We are making the best decisions we can in this situation.  I want to be at the hospital with Nate and I want to be with the kids.  And if someone tells me, "kids are resilient" I will scream at you.  We are well aware that kids are resilient, but the reality is there will be fall out.  Behaviors and big emotions are already surfacing, parenting is a struggle right now.  Please pray for our kids, Nate and myself.  This month could be lonely for all of us in different ways.  

I debated whether I should write this update or wait a couple days until my emotions are not so raw.  But, this is our reality right now, what is the benefit of sugar coating it?  We appreciate your prayers and support.